The End of the World As We Know It

I’m giving you all fair warning: Today I joined Facebook.

Of course, this means the End Times are upon us.

In the past few years, I have been encouraged by many, and chided by others (you know who you are), to join this Internet phenomenon that my younger son described as a “great way to waste time.” I always resisted. I’ve never been a big joiner and have always been slow to adopt new things. I am so famously obstinate that I have been known to avoid a thing for no reason other than it is popular. (And is there anything more popular than FaceBook?) Plus, there were always re-runs of The Big Bang Theory that required my attention. But I’ve come to realize that, much like confronting the Borg in Star Trek, resistance is futile.

Why now? What prompted this momentous event? What was soooo important as to risk destroying the world as we know it?  It boiled down to the simple reality that, like the Little Mermaid, sometimes “I want to be where the people are.”

(I’ll give you a moment to clear your head of the image of me in a mermaid costume.)

Like it or not, FaceBook is where the people are. So, belatedly I have joined them. Of course, this almost certainly means that within the month, FaceBook stock will plummet to less than zero, and will shut down completely and forever. After all, when the last human being on Earth finally signs on, it pretty much has to collapse under its own weight. It’s the Law of Physics.

So don’t say I didn’t warn you.

But in the meantime – be sure to tell your friends to “like me” – or whatever it is you do on FaceBook.